Today I felt like writing on my blog. I’m not really sure what nudged me in this direction or why I feel like writing. I guess if I dig real deep it’s because my blog is my outlet for many things in my life and today I needed to speak. I’m sure that you have heard that everyone is getting married. I don’t even think I’m exaggerating at this point. I’m pretty sure everyone is getting married. If you are reading this you are either just engaged, or know someone that just got engaged. I’m a new bride as of 7 months now. I learned real quick about this title called “wife”.
I’m in no way an expert on marriage. I have an outstanding man whom I love to call my husband, AKA “Babe, please pick up your clothes off the floor”. As a woman who was in your boat let me give you some insight. Getting married is WORTH IT, stressing about your big day in INEVITABLE, and quite trying to turn your wedding into “Who’s got the biggest and most extravagant wedding”.
I’m on the other side of my wedding day and looking back. I KNOW what it’s like to stress out over your wedding details. Several of my venues fell through, I was finishing up my college degree, working two jobs, my husband and I were trying to find a place to live, and all I wanted was this “dream wedding”. In some cases the budget we get doesn’t allow us that “dream wedding” and that can put a strain on us. I’m talking about myself here. Your average wedding cost is about $25,000-$30,000. To be honest I could not see myself forking out that load on just one day of my life. I never wanted a huge wedding ( my dad was thankful). I always wanted those who meant the most to me to attend. People love the big and extravagant day to boast about but to me I felt like I would lose the intimacy and closeness with those who mattered the most to me.
Yes, you guessed it. I had a small wedding. I rented out a yacht and had the ceremony and reception in one location with about 90 people. So when I say I’ve been in the same boat…it’s literally. All of whom were my family and close friends. I had a lovely night and a lovely honeymoon, but GUESS WHAT! It ended. Shocking I know. You plan for months for this one day and it’s over.
Let’s get real, life happens very quickly. The honeymoon week was extremely nice & relaxing after all the stress of planning, but the stress of life thereafter is much greater. I’m a very realistic type of person so I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but I’ve been there and now I’m here. Before I got married, the 8 months of our engagement I hit myself with hard hitting questions. Some questions I think many new brides should ask themselves before getting into a lifelong commitment. For me I wasn’t JUST thinking about my wedding day, I was thinking about that day and beyond. I knew I wanted to get married to Jacob, but I thought about our future, our characteristics and personality quirks. I wanted to make sure that I was not getting wrapped up in wedding day la la land, and that I was concentrating on the fact that marriage isn’t just one day, it’s a lifetime. When you put it that way, it’s a little different. Let that sink in. Your wedding day is an amazing day, but it’s the days thereafter that matter the most. If your relationship is rocky & unstable before you get married know that marriage won’t fix your problems.
You think you are stressed out now, wait until you’re a wife and you have to plan your grocery list and meals, and then your in the kitchen for several hours working on dinner and cleaning. Just wait until all your bills are piled up on your living room table and you have to budget through paying for your necessities , before personal purchases. I’m sure many moms could vouch, but once you have a kid, then you just get even more busier. My dog is like a toddler (she is teething right now), and she keeps me busy so I’ll wait on having a kid for a while. She is what I call “birth control”. Sounds like a Cinderella story right? NOT. It’s because fairy tales end, but your marriage doesn’t, at least it shouldn’t.
In ending my spiel, your wedding day, despite your small or big budget, despite having the most extravagant wedding or having a more intimate wedding, your wedding day will be beautiful. Take in your wedding day and this time, but remember it’s not about “happy ever after” it’s about working every single day to give to your spouse and to learn to love and work through the struggles of life on a daily basis and the person you want next to you is the person that will always fight for you, and love you through thick and thin (believe me those times do come). Will that person be a bystander or will they stand up for you, will they overpower you or will they let the leader lead the family. Getting married is WORTH IT,stress is INEVITABLE, put down the wedding pitchfork and look at the person you will marry and ask yourself if you would go through the hard times with them, because life is hard. It’s fun & exciting, but it’s hard.
Have some questions for me? Let me know! I would be happy to talk with you!